Friday, September 24, 2010

I was a VERY bad Aire-girl!

Hey, everydoggie, kitty, hammie, bear and hooman! It's me, Patches! See these glasses? They almost made me a homeless doggie, this morning!

These are the glasses that our mom wears ALL the time! The last thing she does, at night before putting her head on her pillow, is take off these glasses and she puts them on the night stand right beside her bed! The very first thing she does BEFORE she gets up, is put the glasses on!

Well, we woke our mom up before she was ready, this morning, so she was a little bumfuzzled when she got up! She forgot the glasses and went into the bathroom. Now, you all know that I NEVER miss the opportunity to go in the bathroom with my mom, but for some strange reason, I let her go by herself! By the time she came out, she was more awake and reached for her glasses on the night stand, but they weren't there. The first thing she did was check her face, but they weren't there either and she couldn't see very well at all! You should hear the thoughts that were running through her head and the HBO words that were coming out of her mouth!

Boy, I got some new names, this morning, and none of them were GOOD! I just wanted to know how she knew it was ME! There are TWO Aire-girls in this house! Mom turned on the light in the living room and found her glasses on the floor, right beside my weiner doggie. I think he sneaked into the bedroom and took her glasses so he could "frame" me! Hahahahaha! Get it?..."frame" me? Sometimes I crack myself up! But I digress! Mom found the glasses and put them on, but she couldn't see much better than before she found them. They were covered in Aire-art and slobber! Also, she can't see a thing with the glasses off, so she had to feel around to see if there were any teeth marks. Fortunately, for me, she hasn't found any!

I guess I just narrowly escaped being a homeless doggie! On her way to the living room, Mom was seeing dollar signs and hoping she didn't have to shell out another $800! Yep, she paid a little over $800 for those tacky red glasses. (Patches' mom: I know they were expensive, but I had been in pretty much every store in the Atlanta area and couldn't find any frames that I liked. I accidentally ran into a Versace salesperson in my own eye doctor's office when I went in to tell him I hadn't found the right frames yet. I told her what I was looking for and she went out to her car and brought these in. Sold! So the fact that they are Versace (who cares?), they have Swarovski crystals at the corners (who cares again?) and they are Varilux lenses, make them cost over $800.)

My mom says that if she had to buy them today, she would have to get a much, much cheaper pair...like maybe some from WalMart's pharmacy department that cost around $20 a pair. Well, it all turned out okay since I didn't leave any chomper marks and my mom has finally quit calling me names! I knew she couldn't stay mad at me for very long!

Have a great weekend, everybuddy!

Patches (and Penny who NEVER steals Mom's glasses...or anything else either!)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

What a weekend!

Hi, every buddy! It's me, Patches! Look at this ginormous tree that fell on our house! Once again, our mom can't remember in what order she loaded the pictures so we don't know which one you are seeing first.

Anyhoo, this tree used to be a beautimous Bradford Pear, but more than half of it came down, in a storm, we had on Saturday night. Our mom thinks she heard it creaking as it came down, but it was so dark outside that she couldn't see. She thinks it came down about 8 p.m. Either that, or there were unexplained noises coming from our kitchen! (Which is always a pawsibility!)

Ya know, the law states that if your neighbor's tree falls on YOUR house, YOUR insurance has to cover it. That is, unless the tree is dead and you have notified the owner to remove it and he/she has not done so. Well, this is the second time this has happened in a few months, but the first one missed the house by about 2 feet. This one hit the house with branches to spare! It scraped the siding, but didn't tear any of it off. Sorry, I got off track! The tree belongs to our neighbors (the Puggy dog people) and as soon as the man saw it, he came right over and told our mom not to mess with it. He said he would take care of it on Monday. Well, I'll be darned! He actually showed up, when he said, along with a chain saw!

Mom called the neighbor on the other side of us and asked if he wanted some free firewood. He said yes, but he won't be able to get it out of our yard until the weekend. He has some kind of a policy of not doing any physical labor on weekdays! I think he might be joking, but I'm not sure. Anyway, this morning, our mom threw some of the smaller pieces into our wheelbarrow. If the neighbor doesn't show up to haul it away this weekend, our mom will take the wheel barrow over there and dump it down his driveway! Do you think I'm kidding? Well, I'm not! She's done it before when he asked if he could have a couple of downed trees. After what seemed like months and he still hadn't taken the wood away, our mom and dad loaded it up in our wheel barrow and Mom took it over and dumped it down his driveway. (His driveway is all down hill!) Hahahahahaha!!!!!!! We sure hope that taught him not to mess with our mom!

One of these pictures is Penny again. Our mom had her beautimous face all lined up, but thanks to the stoopid delay, on the camera, all she got was Penny's tail as she was running away. I think the last one is me with my smiley face on! Mom and I are playing a new game, these days. Ya know, I HAVE to go into the bathroom everytime Mom goes in there, but now I have learned to sit as soon as I get through the door (as opposed to giving Mom the big pawslaps on her arms and legs). Now, as soon as I sit, Mom whispers to me and I talk back with a very low, quiet growly noise. Mom is trying to get me to say, "I love you, Mom", but so far my words don't actually make sense.

When our mom still lived with her mom and dad, they had a Miniature Schnauzer named Chipper and our mom taught him how to talk. He could say, "I love you", "it's a frog" and "I don't know". So far, she hasn't had much luck teaching ME how to talk. It usually ends with me getting so excited that I start barking and then the game is over!

Well, every buddy, my personal secretary is starting to make too many mistakes, so I'm letting her off for right now. She has been pitch forking and blowing pine straw most of the day, so she's very tired! See you all next time!

Our mom just did the post and then looked at it! Stoopid blogger put the pictures in backwards from how our mom loaded them! Anyway, obviously the last picture is NOT my smiling face! We think you can figure out which one is which!

Patches (and the back end of Penny)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

We're still here! Our secretary has just been too busy to post for us!

Hey, everydoggie, kitty, hammie, bear and hooman! It's me, Patches. I know...it's been 2 whole weeks and a day since we got our personal secretary to sit down at the 'puter and type what we're barkin'! We think she's lazy, but she says she's busy. Whatever!

About a week ago, Aunt Wendy's house was stinky because some painters were using an oil based paint, so she loaded up both doggies and came to see US! We had a blast! First Ezzy Rider and Jagger chased us, then we chased them! Then they chased us! You get the idea! We were pooped pups when they went home! We think Penny was trying to turn into a cougar 'cause she kept following Jagger around! He's about 8 years younger than you, ya big dummy! Sorry there are no pictures of our great adventure. Our mom talked about getting the camera, but talking about it doesn't get it done! She gave us some kind of lame excuse like the camera was in the 'puter room and that meant she had to climb over a doggie gate and she would have to figure out a way to keep us all outside while she got the camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah...we've heard all those excuses before!

Our weather has finally cooled off a little, so Mom has been raking and leaf blowing in our woods! Yep, it only took her a week to make lots of big piles of pine straw and leaves! Today, she washed our Aire-mobile AND pitched 3 piles of pine straw over the fence! Woohoo! She keeps saying she's too old for this s**t! Whatever THAT means! Our dad always wanted her to leave the woods alone, but she says she wants to see it, if there are any snakes back there! She says you can't see snakes if the ground is all covered in pine straw and leaves! Besides THAT, it took her almost 2 years to clear it all out and she's not going to let it get like that again!

I guess that's all our big news, for now! We wish all our A Merry Can pals and their peeps a happy Labor Day! Oh, and a safe one too! We're hoping for no fireworks!

Penny & Patches