Tuesday, October 18, 2011

My mom has betrayed me and I plan to get even!

Hey, everydoggie! I am registering a complaint! My mom has betrayed me in the worst kind of way! Yesterday morning, she refused to give me my breakfast and then when I asked for water, she said no to that too.
I had to watch as she ate HER breakfast, but did I even get one little taste? Noooooo! She kept telling me she was sorry, but I wasn't buying that! Finally, she put my prong collar and leash on and I realized I was going somewhere! Woohoo!...or so I THOUGHT! We went on a loooong car ride in my Aire-mobile and I met some new peoples that I had never seen before. Now, at first I was kind of excited about all of this, but then they started stealing my bloods and shaving various parts of my furry body! Ok, they made me go to sleep before the shaving and the stealing of the bloods, but don't worry, I knew what they were up to!

When I woke up, I had a poodle leggie and big bare spot on my tail...not to mention...my teefies are all sparkling white! I bet if I went into a room with a black light, they would glow in the dark!

It seems that I have a hot spot from hell on the side of my tail! It was so bad that my fuzzy body was producing white blood cells to fight with it! I hadn't told my mom about it until yesterday morning when she saw me gnawing on my tail like an ear of corn! I hadn't yet chewed the hair off so my mom didn't think it was a hot spot. Some dog detective SHE is!

Well, now I am on ant-eye-bye-oticks and some allergy medicine. Can you believe it...my mom wanted to steal my allergy medicine! It's the same stuff she takes...even the same dosage! The dogtor told her that it's very impawtant for me to take it! So take THAT, Mom!

Yep, she really betrayed me, but I am getting even! About every hour, last nignt while she was sleeping, I was whining! Every time I did it, she got up and held me for a few minutes. I've been doing it all day today, too! She went to the store, this morning, and when she came home, I REALLY got even with her! She knows that as soon as she opens the door from the garage to the kitchen, the first thing she sees is my big, black marshmellow nose! Well, this time, I wasn't there! I almost heard her heart fall to her feet! Actually, I was fine and I just wanted to see the look on her face when I didn't show up to greet her! I might have to "milk" this thing for a while!

Oh, yeah and I have to wear the cone of shame! Actually, I am wearing the COLLAR of shame. It's foam rubber covered with some fabric. My dad used to wear it sometimes and I inherited it! Thanks a lot, Dad! Today, I am wishing my dad a happy birthday! I hope he can hear me from heaven!

Well, everybuddy, I have to get back to planning my revenge. Stay tuned!



My Dog Sam - Ruptured Disk said...

Hi Patches, humans are kind of sneaky that way. They sometimes make you think that something else is going to happen and "POW !!!!", they pull the ole' switcheroo on you. I think that you should milk this thing for awhile. Hold out for donuts like the Thuglets, or tacos like Maggie and Mitch or anything really yum, yum like Miss Sunshade. Yeah, I'm with you on this one....

Kari in Alaska said...

Evil humans

Stop of by for a visit!

Gus said...

Dear Patches...

I am due for a toofie cleaning too, and I have a wart thingy that muzzer is worried about. I hope you are feeling better soon, and thank you very much for the tips on giving the muzzer strong guilt feelings.


NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

I'm sure your dad hears woo!

I bet he had some AngelAireFood khake!


Sally Ann and Andy said...

If you want to have a play date, I have some good ideas for revenge.
Sally Ann

Dexter said...

Miss Patches! I want to see your poodle leg!

Sorry about the cone and the hot spot. Sheesh. My Grandpa Angus used to get those something awful and I think he wore a cone almost all summer long.

You go easy on mom because she is taking excellent care of you and making sure you don't have any owies.


Shane Kent Louis said...

Hi Patches, I hope everything was doing great,and I'm sure your dad had a surprise to you!

It's all About Pet Fences | Dog Fence

Molly the Airedale said...

We sure hope you can lose that collar of shame soon, Patches. We feel for you!

Love ya lots
Maggie and Mitch

The Thuglets said...

Patches we hope you are soon all mended. We feel for you having to wear that collar.

Big Nose Pokes
The Thugletsx

Lucia said...

Ciao bella Patches!

Awww, santa vacca, we are so sorry to hear that you're wearing the cone of shame and have a shaved leggie and a hot-spotted tail, but we hope you'll be feeling better soon!

I, Lucia, have great sympathy for you regarding allergies and itchies, as I, too, have been after my own tail (and side and paws) quite a lot this past month.La mia ragazza says we have spent so much time at the animal hospital that they should name a wing after me! Heeeeee!!!! Anyway, I am allergic to certain types of pollen and have been on antihistamines for four weeks and la mia ragazza now rinses me off every few days in brewed chamomile tea because it really help stop the urge to itch. I also take omega 3 and vitamin E caps to help my scratchiness. (Note from la mia ragazza: trust us, we've been through the wringer this summer with allergies and have finally found a few things that seem to help that aren't steroids!)

I am looking forward to our play date on Friday!! Until then ...

Tanti baci!

Duke said...

Patches, shh! Don't tell my mom about that collar of shame thing, please! Geewhillikers, I hope you get rid of that soon. And I don't blame you for wanting to get even. Don't feel guilty, lemme tell you a secret: our hoomans love it when we play tricks on them!

Sherry said...

Patches, think of it as a stately collar of dignity!

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Oh Patches,

Babystan here...I know how you feel with chewin' on your tail...I get horrid hot spots too and Mumsie keeps washing me in this stinky soap and I still itch and now she puts salmon oil in my foods and gives me those ANT I HISSY MEANS too...Scruffy and Lacie never itch and it's not fair.

Harumph...so she even stole that nice plaque off your toofers? Mumsie looked at mine this week and told me a need a "dental." I don't know what that is, but it sounds like some sorta new chewy bone. (Lacie is rollin' on the floor laughing...wonder why?)

We saw it was your Dad's birthday...we're sure he heard ya barkin' at him in Heaven. And Poppy simply must have made a cake!

Kisses to you and your mom!!!